Friday, May 07, 2010

Forever Young


I had my braces removed a few days ago and I feel as though I have aged about 5 years. Admittedly, the braces made me look as if I was in my very early 20's so I probably just look my age now. My age is still relatively young, though lately I have been concerned with my fleeting youth. I notice that things don't look the way that they used do, they don't move the way they used to. I cannot party the way I did in college and pull all-nighters 4 nights out of the week to get work done. I am no longer superwoman.

The models in fashion ads seem to be getting younger. I can't relate to some of the current music. I cannot shave the side of my head because well, I have a real-ass job! I dwell on the fact that Biggie Smalls was only 26 when he was killed. He died when I was well into my teens. He seemed much older then, now I realize that he was just a baby.

My colleagues and I complain about co-workers and their intimidation. A young, well-educated, and talented employee is someone everyone fears will take their job. A few years ago I would be angry and think it was unfair but I have noticed my growing sympathy towards our co-workers' situation.

Old men have no shame about making eyes or saying inappropriate comments to me now. I am just old enough now that they don't think of me as their daughter. In fact I am at the age in which I may catch the eye of older, younger and those who are relatively the same age as me. One day this will all change. It's sad that this is what I think of. Sad but true.

I want to be forever young. I guess inside I always assumed I would be.
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