Friday, October 30, 2009

Sympathy and Regret

I used to watch Jon and Kate plus 8 out of pitty. I felt sorry for the family of ten because I felt no matter how many field trips those lucky little critters go to go on, the family was still incredibly dysfunctional. Kate was controlling and and disturbingly structured . How many "projects" must children do with pudding, puddy, pasta that normal? At home? All the time? I understand her need for order, with 8 children it is easy to be overwhelmed and feel out of control.

I used to think that the obvious dysfunction in the Gosselin marriage was because of her controlling behavior. I would watch attentively and notice the death on Jon's face as he gradually retreated into himself, into a place of apathy. It was easy think she pushed him there. Kate spoke to Jon in the same manner and tone she did her 5 year olds. And if you wasn't degrading or condescending she was combative. I felt like Jon died with every episode.

What started as empathy and sympathy when Jon began to dust off his man-parts and stand up for himself now has turned in to shame. I am ashamed for having any sympathy for him as he carries on like a circus bear on a tricycle in the media. Sure I understand that he had been treated as a child and now is acting a child. Do I understand that he spent his twenties dealing with an emasculating wife and a crap load of kids that he didn't plan for? Yes. But he isn't in his twenties anymore he is a grown-grown man with grown-grown responsibilities and should act as such. It's sad now, because it now shifts all the sympathy to Kate. Stupid Jon.

Moreover, we know the abused individuals have a high probability of abusing others and Jon's relationship with 22 year old Hailey Glassman is an obvious attempt for him to assert himself as a man. This his attempt reassure himself of his masculine power and his alleged emotional abuse is him reflecting what was done to him and his insecurities about it happening again.

Now I don't excuse his ridiculous behavior, he needs help. He is 32 years old and this is too early for him to be experiencing a mid-life crisis. Instead of the media, gawking and watching someone spiral downward (like they did Britney Spears) some one should be human enough to get him some help. We will all regret ignoring when it produces 8 dysfunctional children.
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