Monday, August 21, 2006

Yearning


I had so much I wanted to say but I couldn't reach you. I wanted to jot it down in my near by notebook to save but it just didn't feel the same. So much has changed, I have changed and you wouldn't believe it but I feel so good. And in this time apart I realized how much you mean to me. I spend almost every other minute dreaming about coming home, grabbing a diet coke and pounding away at the keyboard of my laptop. Whenever I can get a spare moment, because every day inspires me now, I want to spend it with you. However, there is no internet connection at home and the public library is closed when I get off from work now. I think of you every morning and how you've helped me through so much. You revitalized me, awakened my soul a year and half ago. My sole reason for waking. In my period of insomnia I only thought of what I would say to you. You have been my refuge, my entertainment, my shouting post even when I believe no one is listening. In you I have found encouragement and a kind of intimacy I have long sought. I was once yearning for shadows, insisting on carrying water in my hands. But it was here that I found joy in the idea that something in my own image would never leave me, and pleasure in water running through my fingers. I found peace, it only took creating a blog.
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2 comments:

  1. yeah they THINK you're talking about your blog, but I know you're really talking about zillaman! *makes hip thrusts*

    ReplyDelete

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