Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Valentine's Day Massacre


February 14th 2006 was the worst day of my life, save February 28th of last year or whenever that Madea movie came out. I planned to just stay in bed and let the whole day blow over. I didn't get out of bed until 11am. But NOOOOO I had to be a trooper. I donned my red Ann Taylor sweater top with the bow at the collar and decided I had a lot of love to give that day. After all it is just a day, 24 hours right? Wasn't like I didn't make any plans. I had plans!

I think what hurts this year is that I am finally at the point in my life where I am ready to receive love and mature enough to give it. Thoughtfully. Valentine's Day only highlighted how much I had never been loved. I am using "never" very lightly. How much I would really like flowers and how many lies I received instead. Chocolate? I don't think I got that since the 8th grade and I started dating his best-friend a month later! (It was middle school what do you want me to say?) It is not just a day folks! It's a war on my sanity, my heart. I have been mobilizing the mental troops all week. Let's just say...I lost a lot of men out there.

I start off by going to the grocery store to buy a pack of sugar free Red Bull only to be engulfed by this...helium mass of shiny-ness...and men crowded around the table of bears and things, forming a barricade between me and my energy source that was needed to get through what looked like the beginning of a hard day. I grabbed my In Touch Weekly, my drink and got the hell out of there...alive. I made sure to pay a visit to my best-friend's son. He's 1 year old and he gives great hugs and I needed it. Certain of my strategic moves to avoid the mushiness, I come home to see a box of mail-sent flowers at the door and for a brief moment with all that I was...all that I could be...I wished it were for me. They were for my sister, of course. Who in my life would go through the trouble of doing that? I tried my very best to be happy for her but it hurt.

I hung out with the girls and watched the romantic comedy that makes your romance look like a business acquaintance. You've seen it, trust me if you've seen one... My romantic plans fell through surprisingly. Surprisingly being the operative word. Just as I was hoping to come home and lick my wounds, my sister calls excited her long distance boyfriend---yes the same one that sent flowers in the mail----just showed up at the airport. I was shell shocked and I couldn't get to my room without making a scene. I was hit. I am an awful person and now I hate myself. My night ended with a 3 hour phone call that consisted of the phases "what is going on” “you are lying to me” and “seeing someone else”. It was gruesome. Jose Cuervo is my witness he was the only one I was with last night, but come to think of it he was probably keeping a lot of others company this valentine’s day.

So hung over, I can see the sun and it hurts my eyes. But it is a new day. I have lived though the roses’ thorns and the helium gas and the huge massive stuffed teddies that I didn’t get. I didn’t die. The lingerie I bought didn’t self- destruct. But hey they aren’t giving out purple hearts for wounded feelings, are they? I think I’ll wear black in remembrance of this bloody day for the rest of the week. Which means I need to do laundry…I have no clean black shirts. Hey! A reason to get out of bed.
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6 comments:

  1. jose cuervo and bud light are my bitch lovers on valentine's day!

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  2. Oh lord...I feel your pain. You were not the only one! But we have to remind ourselves it literally is 24 hours and will come and go away each year! At least we didn't have to shell out money for gifts, or take someone to dinner. We saved a little dough for ourselves! That is the way I look at it.

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  3. chinonye, its sharm. whats good girl.

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  4. Dear Caramel Spill, if you had any ider what yer Hollywood pal was swimmin' thru in the last 7 days, you'd thank yer lucky voodoo dolls that Jose's morning gift-bag is a couple of red eyes, and an annoying headache.

    Yers,
    -D.T.-

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