Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I need a face lift


Even though the birds ain't churping and the sun ain't shining, it looks like a beautiful morning.
-Little Brother


It so has been two weeks since I posted. What is wrong with me? When I first started bloging... I couldn't even sleep! (I had insomnia at the time) I would just lay awake thinking of all the cool things I could post about. Now, nothing. Why? Whyyyyyyyyy!!!!

I started to think maybe it is because I have said everything I had to say. I mean, I sleep perfectly fine now, I am no longer suffering from anxiety and quite frankly, I don't read self-help books any more. Has my blog become pointless?

I have found my life as a Ph.D student a bit drier than wheat toast. I should be joyful, I have no drama. Nope. None. All I can complain about is school, tests, papers and the "upperclassmen" of my program, so to speak. And I am starting to get a bit bored and irritated. Healthy relationships, lifestyles and jobs are BORING! And for some reason fattening. When I was crazy and losing my hair I was um, a size 3-4. Hair is easy to replace and Zuki Lui always gives me a good great deal on the top of the line weave and fine tresses. I might have been crazy but I was a sexy mutherF#$5er! It was the first time I looked in the mirror and was satisfied with the way I looked. Now that I am healthy I am a size 8. I know, I know that isn't that big but it seems like it when all you have are size 4 and 6 clothes.

Furthermore, when I was a bit unsure of myself, I used to actually exercise my constitutional right to coordinate and dress in matching attire. Now it seems as if I am allergic to looking presentable. I have no one to really impress. The pressures of undergrad no longer apply to me. I don't think my outfit will make me the most popular girl on campus. So I might find myself wearing flip flops and the thrice worn jeans with a wrinkled shirt...to the movies on date night. Imagine what I wear to class. I don't even wear make up anymore. I went out as my natural self for Halloween. It was indeed very scary.

The funny thing is all I do is complain about this. I have yet to actually...put on an outfit. It really has an effect on my everyday mood. When did I get this way? When did I let myself go, stop posting regularly, gain 12 pounds. Something has to give. I need a face lift. Tomorrow is a brand new day and I should be excited every minute of it. So in efforts to re-something related to get excited-I changed the look of my blog. I might wake up early to do my hair tomorrow, but I can't promise the outfit. That seems a bit drastic.
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1 comment:

  1. hiya SC!

    you crack me up, went out on Halloween as your natural self!!

    anyway..funny how life goes that way, isn't it?

    I think that God dude has a sense of humor, I tellya!

    ReplyDelete

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