Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I've Been Poked...

I have a secret. When I arrive at my office before I check my email, before I return important phone calls...I check my facebook account. It is all my sister's fault. I was minding my business one day over the summer and she couldn't believe that I--as if I was the last one to hop on this mindless bandwagon--that I didn't have an account on the Facebook. So I joined. It might be crack, it might be childish, it might be like checking your email, it might be internet dating...But I swear everyone is on there. Sure some of us "grown-folks" are holding out from being sucked into this somewhat guilty pleasure/definite bad habit. But I know you same folks are viewing faces and profiles from your friends accounts. The shameful part about this is I don't remember being so geeked about this sort of thing since highschool when I was on College Club.com. Let me repeat that----When I was in highschool on College Club.com. Think about that for a while.
You can search for people by name, by high school, by University... or just scroll through and see who you know (more specifically who you want to know, hehehe... I am so ashamed.) and add them as a friend. Or my favorite...poke them. I get poked quite often, I am not quite sure what it means but I like playing around with its ambiguity.
A friend of mine has described this site as "legalized stalking". And it is. Certainly I have taken it upon myself to exercise my legal rights.

So let's see I have found...

*Long lost high school friends. Also enemies. I have to make sure I turned out better than them.

*High school crushes that didn't crush back...I wouldn't date them now anyway.

*The guy on campus that tried to date all my friends in college but for some reason I can't remember what he looked like...Of course he'd have a facebook profile and he is still in college.

*The girl that slept with half the football team in college...rocking a 5 carat diamond in her picture. I guess it only has to work once as my friend would say.

*Ex boyfriend...looking nice.

* Ex-Not-My-Boyfriend looking REALLY good...Damn.

I also found Can't Have Him's girlfriend. Hehehehe. CLEARY not Beyonce'. But kinda cute I had to admit. But of course, not as cute as me which is the seed that grew into this monster that I couldn't tame. I guess I should have been poked back into reality (that was bad but I won't delete it). I of course want to know if she had the same birthday as me, are their zodiac signs compatible, does she love cheese like I do. What is it about her!??! I have to have access to her profile! I know it's crazy. I can only admit this here, it's my self-help blog, remember? So with the suggestion of an abetting graduate student we launch this COMPLETELY LEGAL stalking tactic. So she, my fellow grad student, a complete stranger to her, having an account linking her to a school separate from mine requests to add Not Beyonce' as a friend. And she accepts! Sucker.

We have almost nothing in common. Their signs are not compatible, in fact their signs are somewhat repellant. She has like 700 friends on this site... Her favorite book is the Bible. Sure it is. It's alright for her to say that she doesn't read. She is every bit of the twelve year old I thought she was. Surely this is just convenient for him. Unfortunately, when I viewed her relationship status it said "Married". (Gasp!!!)

I have learned that no matter how legal it is...you get what you look for. F*ck being punk'd I've been poked and it smarts.
I've Been Poked...SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend


  1. Anonymous11:25 PM

    you wrote about facebook?

  2. LOL. What is being 'poked'? Is it not good??

  3. i haven't been sucked in yet! I'm still trying to navigate hi5 *lol*

  4. I've never heard of Facebook before. :)

  5. I can't believe someone has been poking my woman and I haven't poked yet! I will not tolerate this..lol

  6. ha ha! I loove your writing style..it's fantastic..and um..I better back off that idea, I think hookin up with the folks I used to know back in the day would be rather disturbing..LOL


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