Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Like a Good Neighbor

Bloggers and blog readers, please! (wait I don't think I am speaking loud enough...ahem!) Please!!!! Get Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes off my television! I promise you I was really trying to come up with one of my very creatively written posts ( well I try at least) and all I could think about was TomKat. They have a compound pronoun to describe their borderline disgusting relationship. I partially blame the media, they have been itching for another Bennifer. But please, am I the only one that feels like I am pimped? It is just a little too much? Here is a young, ordinary looking, girl-next-door 20 something actress that has no problem with the fact that her middle-aged boyfriend is um say... a whole foot shorter than her. Furthermore, this would be just his 14th marriage or something like that (okay third). Does she know that? Does she know that her husband-to-be puts his feet on Oprah's couch. Oprah's couch!!!! Be a good neighbor, let her know. I am still getting reaquainted with the luxury of cable television (Digital cable actually, I told you I moved up like the Jeffersons!) but is Tom Cruise supposed to be on my TV every 2.38 minutes? I am a true believer is in PDA (in moderation of course) but I swear they are going to make me change my religion! All the kissing and touching and nussleing...STOP IT!!!!! I just don't believe it. Is it love or is this scientology? Be a good neighbor and point me in the right direction or just take my remote.
In the week's events ...I have met the sexiest guy in my new building. I mean, oooh! A couple on my floor was having a barbeque and I stopped by and he had just come from work. (Did you get that, the man had a job!) I... ohmigosh, you should see his smile, his presence, his walk, the way his slacks fit and fell neatly from his waist. I hate to see a "bitch butt" on a man. Granted I had a couple of Coronas , I was quite certain there was a chemistry. I mean the vibe was so hot it woulda melted my panties off... you know, if they weren't superglued on. Just as I was beginning to think of um, how to be the best neighbor I could be... in walks his girlfriend. She was so sweet. Yeah. Yeah. He still got my number a couple days later you know just in case something else were to go on in the building. Uh huh, (wink wink) but I am just no that type of neighbor.
What else, I started a summer course on medical planning and disaster preparedness in catastrophic events. It's like summer camp!!! In a good way. The unfortunate part is there is a girl-woman (I am still used to referring to students as girls and boys, she's pretty grown) who has the worst voice in the world with the same name as the woman my sociapathic ex-boyfriend was cheating with. Ugh! and she keeps talking! "Yes, Corolla* that was a good question". The professor is egging her on! Someone be a good neighbor and tell her to shut up and not join any of my groups. She was even so audacious to host a convo about Tom and Kate during our 5 minute break when clearly, I was trying to take a power nap. It's not her fault that she has an awful name and annoying voice but life isn't fair. So if I don't serve her, then some other person will. So like a good neighbor, Sin City is there!
Like a Good NeighborSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Monday, June 13, 2005

Physically Lost in Translation

Uncrossing my legs, I leaned towards the desk in front of me in a well-cooled car dealership. Raising my eyebrow, I simply said "You can't possibly be serious, $32,000? I know of a repo S-type going for $14,000 with similar mileage. You only have 2 years left on this warranty and that's not worth $18,000. I don't care if it is a Jag. Let's save the gas for the cars." Afterwards, the car salesman changed his whole approach. Maybe it's the big earrings, the lipgloss, the presumed youth, but clearly he thought I was the person to be taken for a ride. The s-type Jaguar is a suped up Lincoln LS...Ford Five Hundred. I read Consumer Reports. But the salesman liked me, I just knew by the way he moved, by the way he looked at me. I can't explain it, he was totally professional. He didn't so much as wink at me. It was the way his mouth moved. So I wasn't surprised when he asked me out to dinner, I mean he was cute and I was hungry. Maybe my stomach sounding as if it were trying to put a bid down on a car was a hint enough to ask. I think he drove the company Jag but I didn't want to imply anything by asking. During dinner I get the "I have a boat, a house across the lake, I can take care of you"...blah, blah, blah. Older men always feel as though they can entice a young woman with money and financial security...I was listening. However, he sort of vaguely danced around the fact that he was "not quite divorced" and that his wife sort of still lives with him sometimes. Ha Ha Ha! And all the while I thought I had been wearing Mac make-up. I didn't know I was putting "Damned Fool" on my face every morning.

I have been thinking that I send the wrong message for a long time, not just in dating but in school/work settings as well. And I am not quite sure what it is. A guy told me that upon first sight he thought I was shallow. What? Another said that he wouldn't have guessed I was "as intelligent" as I am. Not that I am dumb but that I was as smart. And it's true, going to class in heels and capri's is not fashion indicative of a grad student doing clinical research (which I hate by the way). Is my body language French when everyone else speaks English?Perhaps it's my walk, my love of South Park, 60 minutes and CNN. Maybe because I pick appetizers as meals when out to dinner, even when I am not paying. Or even my likelyhood to flip between The Surreal Life, Real Time with Bill Maher, and the Lifetime movie of the night. I give the wrong impression. I have many different sides of me I can't really tell what I am projecting, what it means or how it defines me. I just I feel that my whole being is misinterpreted sometimes. So to make it easier I guess people made these fun Speak-Say T's. Do you ever wonder if your t-shirt is saying more than you think?

This says that I am a dime, the whole ten pennies. (Although the truckdriver yelled "12!" the other day) This says that I'm a little conceited, but that's always needed...

I just like the shirt. I like green, I like Oscar. But I don't think people take someone with a Sesame Street character on their shirt seriously. Here I am thinking I am showing a bit of personality...

He He He... I actually am cautious of where I wear this! I mean I wouldn't want people to think that this is part of my personal ideals. I have to keep some secrets...

This is actually my favorite "I wish you would say sumthin' 'bout my shirt" shirt. I am usually all dressed up but when I want to wear a t-shirt (which I may still wear with high-heels) this is my fave! I was wearing this when I finally met a guy I had been chatting on the phone with. He said I looked much younger in person. Clearly, it's a Muppet t-shirt!!! I must have looked 12.

I am certainly cognizant of what I represent. But there is only so much that I can control, the rest is left to interpretation. And people change their minds all the time, so I will not be bothered. A man desperate for a conversation piece looked at my shirt and said "so you like hiking?" Not to perpetuate stereotypes but... a black girl in her 20's, in the south where the altitude is below sea-level... hiking? He obviously got the wrong message.
Physically Lost in TranslationSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Sunday, June 05, 2005


Today I lifted the comforter from over my head in my newly sublet apartment I thought to myself, "hmmph, I am finally on to something". Last week I lived in the 'burbs with no cable to day I am in the lap of luxury. What a difference today makes. Recently, my days seemed to all run together, simply a collection of moments and minutes. Hours identical in the determination to be productive. Everyday just hustling between the setting and rising of the sun. That was yesterday... But today I woke up singing
From the moment I wake up
Before I put on my make up

And then I tripped on the side of the bed trying to get to the TV in order to watch as much of the Today show as I could. I think I liked Al Roker better fat, someone should tell him.
I say a little prayer for you...

Today in lue of going to work I had the most profound moment, I crossed a brown and beige colored pigeon amongst a gang of other grey-black colored nasties. Weird. "What exactly is a pigeon's natural habitat?" Strolling towards my downtown building, I was accompanied on each side by two pigeons, cooing. It was as if we were talking but I was the only one that didn't get the joke. As I attemped to crossover to my building we couldn't figure out who was going first, myself or the pigeon on the right. Today I apologized to a pigeon because I obviously was in the pigeon's space.

Today I found that I don't like Joss Stone. I was convinced I liked her music a lot but really... don't think I can quite stand her. Today I actually watched her video on mute ...and a few others. I realized that today's music videos make me nauseous, that I perhaps am getting old and decided to watch Oprah. After seeing celebrites x and y talk about A and B, Oprah anounced yet another book for her beloved book club that I read already in high school. No matter how sexy I am today (and we do remember that I am sexy right?) deep down I will always be a nerd. The city in which I live looks nothing at all like the one in the picture. I am one of the few southerners who no longer has the desire to move up north. Big trucks, cheaper gas, pimped out Toyotas, parking spaces...and really do you see any grass in that picture? Am I really to live without grass? Today I know that a great deal is over-rated and most of the little things matter the most to me.
I woke up today and wiped the metaphoric crust from my eyes. How much better are we than the pigeons on the street? The insecurities I have others have as well, they just hide them. Most of those who constantly swear to "keep it real" are fake. Today I can see right through them. And a little fake is okay, I mean my hair is fake. But at least it is not my personality. The most important thing is to be real with yourself, really. Today being true to yourself is hard and the first step to doing so is admiting that you aren't. And "Live your life for today!" is the only biggest load of impossible crap. The reasons people didn't jump off bridges, divorce their spouses, quit their jobs today is because of the thoughts of glorious of yesterdays and in hopeful anticipation of a better tomorrow... and its okay. I think life is just one long day. Today is your lucky day! When you finally close your eyes at nightfall how will you say you spent your time?

Been gone for a minute but Today Sin City is back...(thanks for the nickname Rican)
TodaySocialTwist Tell-a-Friend