Thursday, May 19, 2005

You're Not Fat, Just Big Boned

No! Of course not. You DO look good in those tight pants and speedos. You're not fat, no... You are just big-boned. What, I look slim? Little did you know...I am big-boned too. (Why do I hear someone laughing?) Sure, nasty man! If you consider that a bone, (sigh) you can consider yourself "big-boned" too.

Big-boned is the first thing that came to mind when I got on the scale in my bathroom. My bones got bigger...and five pounds heavier. Ha! I should be complaining considering I worked my butt off...literally, to lose 20 pounds last year. But...what is this? I think I grew hips! I am walking with a little extra something these days, wearing the tightest jeans...which isn't new but wheew! Hips! You wanna touch? But I know that the thigh bone is connected to the hip bone, and since both are thick now the next thing to grow will be my stomach...bone.

I think the weight of all of my stress and worries have really gotten to me. It's breaking my back (busting my balls! I really wanted to say that...)I have been hot winging, chocolate-chip and cookie dough ice creaming my woes. Just feeding my woes, those hungry little bastards weren't really going away. (Thank you Brokken, Wise Diva, Rican Doll, A Sistah, and You Crazy Blogger with all the numbers for your advice and well-wishes when I really needed them) Eating, sleeping and sulking weren't making my problems go away so I figured...well, I needed to lighten up. So I did. Made a list of things I wanted to do such as, whitten my teeth, not wait a whole week to enter another post on my blog. After all that heavy thinking I rewarded myself with a bottle of wine, chilli cheese fries (they were low-fat, okay no they weren't) and the 6th season of Sex and the City when they had Blair Underwood. Ooh, that man makes me feel all fluttery and light headed. "You like chocolate don't you... Oh, I was talking about me." Oooh yes! That kinda chocolate goes straight to your hips too...if you're lucky. He's the kind of chocolate that would give you a work out. Hmm.

I finished my self-help book for the week...take it easy, love yourself...lightnen up. Stepping on the scale I realized I didn't have the dial on the zero, 3 pounds lighter. Isn't that good news?
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  1. Brokkenhearted10:40 PM

    Yeah, my stomach bone has definitely expanded. I noticed that I am indeed 5 pounds heavier. I would never have cared if I didn't have a certain grandmother inform me that I was fat and that I needed to lose weight. Only in this society can a girl who is 5'2 and 125 pounds feel like she is "big boned".

  2. No problem for the advice. Try and help out when I can with my "crazy blogging" self. LOL

    You're my new best friend now...**thinking about chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

  3. U got me with the stomach bone. People asking me if I'm pregnant. Cows!!

    As said before, I feel we have a sistahspirit and you were there for me and I thank you.

    Much luv

    Now I got to go raid this free vending machine.

  4. as usual, I an crackin up at you! STOMACH BONE!

    Girl You are SOOO welcome, and I hope you got out of your funk!

  5. LMFAO @ your "bones"!!!!!!!!!!!

    In a recent study I read, women who forgot about diets and such lost more weight than those that were on strict was something about being stress-free that made them able to lose weight better. Yeah, it definitely feels better to be stress free. IM ON VACATION YEEEEY! (sorry had to get that out AGAIN)

  6. Anonymous4:16 PM

    yeah, stomach bone was funny

  7. LMAO...this is my first time here but this joint was hilarious. I got big bones and hips and ass and thighs and e'ry thing else!

  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  10. Anonymous8:22 PM

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