Monday, April 18, 2005

Tourist Purist

I am at gate B 51 with my laptop desperately plugged into the wall while waiting for my plane to start boarding. I have to write while the feeling is fresh. I am at the culmination of a make shift vacation after deciding to see a friend last minute…okay he’s someone special. I hate when people use the title “friend” loosely, that is a sure way to cause confusion and find yourself financially liable for the effects of someone’s hurt feelings. That is certainly going to be the topic of an upcoming post…

I am sitting here at gate B51 in the Washington D.C. Dulles airport recounting the weekend’s events and I can’t take my mind off of the fact that I didn’t see this memorial.
Why? I can’t even remember which one it was. (Okay I just remembered that I snapped a picture of it on my camera phone the last time I was there…It’s the World War II memorial.) I am actually sad about it right now. The last time I was in D.C. it was outrageously cold. I was walking alone, angry after arguing with another someone special (don’t ask) and quite honestly, lost. I had no map, it was night time and I couldn’t see the signs too well with all those tears in my eyes. But magically I stumbled upon the World War II memorial. Yes, magically. My tears dried, my spirits were lifted, my heart touched. It was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. No point in describing it, there is no way I would do it justice. I have never heard anyone talk about it guessing because it was built only last year. It has this magnificent pool, yes magnificent… and some sculpture for every state. Sigh…it inspires you to change your life, quit smoking, make love to someone special (or at least think really hard about it) and I didn’t see it again. As I sit in the airport with a shamelessly sad face I realize yet again, how much of a loser I really am.

I am such a tourist. I love to travel but I love sight-seeing even more. If I managed to pass through a town that boasts the biggest collection of used band-aids from the Gulf War trust that I will be there…looking for the tour guide. I am the type to listen to the little information speakers at every display, read information signs. I would follow the seven mile nature trail through the woods and dash to the gift shop. “I survived the trail out of New England’s anus” t-shirt for $14.99? Sure I’ll buy it. How else would anyone know I was there, pictures surely aren’t enough. My parents’ idea of a vacation is them renting a hotel room in the Bahamas, closing the blinds and sleeping all 6 days and 5 nights. Imagine our family vacations. If I am going to travel I must see the attractions, the mountains, the waterfalls, the parks. I make sure to ride all the rides at Disney. I need a true vacation, unadulterated, with lots of pictures of me posing in front of signs of anything. The cheesier the better. So cheesy that every picture comes with that “real cheese” mark on it. You wouldn’t think someone so sexy could be so corny but…surprise!
Yeah...So I vented. I’ll walk onto this plane pure hearted, except for those dirty, sexy thoughts of my new “friend”. I get to keep those as souvenirs.
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  1. Tom242:45 PM

    You are always on vacation. Sorry you didn't get to go sight-seeing but if you went to see the new boo, I am sure you had an eye full. You can at least look right?

  2. Emily9:02 PM

    Goodness you were in D.C. again. You can not be sweating a city like that. You really like DC, I am sorry you didn't see the memorial, you are such a cornball underneath all that lipgloss and heels.

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