Friday, April 22, 2005

Suing Ms. Mimi

I created this blog in search of self-help and self-exploration. Here I vowed to examine my personality, my motivations and dispel my personal lies. (Sigh...)Well, Mariah Carey sold more than 400 thousand copies of her new album "Emanicpation of Mimi". You know, I had money on her next album being called "Bubbles". I figure now she will have more than enough money to cover for the emotional damages I have experienced because of her. Confession #478, Mariah Carey's music is my guilty pleasure. I love Mariah Carey... more than I really care to admit... but here goes.

I remember as though it was last month, playing on the merry-go-round with the other female 3rd graders singing Vision of Love to the top of our lungs. I can't promise you that I always understood what I was singing about, but ever since the 3rd grade I have had a vision of love that never did quite manifest. Because of Mariah Carey I believe in the healing power of rainbows, I love rainy days and going to the park when I am sad (and happy, actually). And I sometimes stare really hard at butterflies. I treasured my music box. I had all of her albums...all of them. (except for Glitter, because who does?) And I have grown up and lived my life through her 15 year career.

I try to hide it. But c'mon you can't really be surprised, can you? I mean with my imaginary boyfriend ... My name is SincereCaramel! Sincere?!? Caramel?!? Clearly, I have been touched by Mariah Carey's bubbles and fairy dust. To get through the angst of adolescence I played all of her "you can do it" songs: Hero, Can't Take That Away. I used to lock myself in the bathroom and sing Looking In and Outside because no one understands you when you are a teenager. To this day I listen to Someday for the sorry, no goods who missed out on this good thing. The one you gave away will be the only one you're wishing far Mariah has been right about that.

I know this sounds like praise for the musical butterfly, but its not. Because of her consistant lyrical illustrations of magical, selfless, desperate love I have grown to expect just that. Growing up I just knew my first time was going to be amid fireflies on lush green grass...completely taken from her song Underneath the Stars . (Of course that didn't happen) Furthermore, the one time I used a song to convey my feelings(which I still can't believe I did) it was a Mariah song. Subtle Invitation... and there was nothing subtle about my invitation. She gives you a song for every heartbreaking situation encouraging you to wallow in pain. I have a playlist of her songs for that particular purpose, it's like a drug. Mariah is my pusher. I find myself breaking down, falling apart, giving my all, swearing myself and some fool belong together because 15 years of exposure to Mariah Carey has caused the illness of over-expectation thus leading to continual disappointment and emotional distress. I think I should be compensated.

Because of Mariah Carey I am tragically romantic. Tragic. I have TRIED to be less sensitive and sentimental. The only thing I accomplished is hiding it. I am a sap, underneath the wit, the sarcasm, the temper...I am just a sap. It all her fault. Now she's been "emancipated" so she can do this to other poor impressionable kids... if not me, someone should sue.
Suing Ms. MimiSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend


  1. Brokkenhearted11:07 AM

    Indeed. I do believe your problems with men may stem from your Carey-like desire to like happily ever after in a world of losers. Just say to yourself "Them chickens is ash, and I'm lotion!" and you wil keep your cool. It's like that y'all.

  2. Maybe I shouldn't have but the entire post made me laugh. I understand what you mean though...

  3. Brokken you are on something addictive and unhealthy. I am not that bad! Them chicken's is ashed through ha ha

  4. Anonymous8:54 PM

    When you give someone just a bit of webspace they will write anything. You don't come off as a Mariah kinda gal. Not all like that anyway. You are too much of a...cynic to be so blissful.

  5. Anonymous8:57 PM

    I know I think this may be your attempt to pour your heart out but... I couldn't stop laughing. I can only imagine how that Subtle Invitation turned out. Wait, I don't want to know.

  6. YOur comment on my blog had me crackin up!

    I LOVE the never ending rivalry between UF and FSUcks!

    My bestfriend Tamara went to FSU and I am trying to work on her self esteem because she obviously doesn't believe in herself if she chose such a crappy school! LOL!

    I'll check you out more often. I love finding good writers.


  7. You are lame beyond words.

    I must be illiterate, I swear to god, I thought your name was Sincere Camel.

    Going back to my hole now...

    Have a good one!


  8. My Name is Kendall and I love MIMI!

    This post made me laugh out loud... This new album has me going back trynna listen to her old stuff thinking that maybe my haterade-colored glasses/ headphones had me missing something. The girl CAN sing...

    I'onknow.. I just might hafta go check her when she tours... maybe ...

    Thanks for the comments on my spot... I appreciate the insight!

  9. Anonymous1:06 AM

    I just want you to know that you wrote a literary criticism on Mariah Carey's music...once a geek... luv ya though

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  11. Anonymous5:28 PM

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