Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Karma Parks Here

I would think that everyone has their personal beliefs outside of organized religion, something they themselves truly believe. I sincerely believe that what goes around comes around. Maybe not all that goes around, but a good portion of it certainly comes back around. I had the opportunity to reflect as I made it a point to spend my day at the park. I guess I had a private picnic. I brought my lunch of rice and plantains, two books and even my laptop. Lately, I have been having out of control nightmares. What about you may ask? Doesn’t matter and sometimes I honestly can’t remember what it was I dreamt of. I just wake up screaming or all sweaty. In addition, I have insomnia, as if I am scared to sleep or something. So here I am in attempts to reflect and ease my anxiety on green grass listening to Stevie Wonder and not a cloud in the sky. I have the pleasure of seeing 6 middle aged adults being a bit too excited about feeding the ducks. The chubby one proclaims “you’re pretty, are you a model?” Ha Ha Ha! This is my idea of a perfect day, save the occasional sight of squirrels mating. You may guess where I am going with this…even the squirrels huh? Even the squirrels. I have had a lot of scary things happen to me in the past 18 months that make me question whether or not I am being punished for past offenses. I mean…Karma is supposed to be a bitch but she can’t be that bad. So I decided to confront her on the issue.

Hey Karma,
What’s up girl? How’s it going? Well as you may guess this is starting to drive me crazy. I assume this might be your motivation but I was hoping that we could negotiate, maybe work something out. What do you think? You know where to find me.

She is yet to get back to me.

She must be chasing the sucker that stomped the life out of those 3 baby turtles trying to get to the other side of the sidewalk. Suddenly one of the adults falls into the water after trying to reach out for the baby ducks. (Ha ha ha) Oh… they are a group of um, what’s the P.C. term? Mentally ill adults. No wonder they thought I was a model. That’s what I get for laughing. Is there something that you have done causing you to experience feelings of irreparable guilt? Are you still being bit in the butt because of it?
Try putting something good back into the universe, something useful. I’ll go first.
I have cheated, been cheated on and most recently cheated with. I could be considered an expert on cheating. I kinda want to make amends but it would cause more damage than good if I called the other involved parties and confessed. So…

Signs your Partner is Cheating

1. If you see him/her cheating. This would be one of the occasions to believe what you see with your own eyes.

2. If your partner gets repeated phone calls or text messages between the hours of 10pm and 9am from the particular individual in question. Those are intimate hours, please take note. * Furthermore, there is an emotional issue between the both of them. There is, so don’t ignore it!*

3. Multiple inconsistencies in tales if daily events. Inconsistencies in anything really.

4. If your partner hides the stash of condoms. If they always had this practice, they had no real intentions of being faithful in the first place.

5. If you go through long periods of time without having sex. He says he’s tired? No man is EVER that tired, unless he had his workout somewhere else.

6. If your partner is suddenly unavailable. They all of a sudden didn’t receive your phone calls, or even your voice mails and texts messages (if they are so bold)

7. If while you are being intimate you feel as though your partner is treating you as someone different. Trust your gut; you’d know if there is something different. Perhaps they keep touching you in a way you have expressed you don’t like to be touched.

8. If your partner is suddenly accusing you of cheating and you know you are the “squeaky clean party”. The guilty pig always squeals. You actually have to BE “the squeaky clean party” for this to hold true.

9. If your partner only partakes in the obligatory actions of the relationship. For example, visiting for only 20 minutes, 5 minute intimate sessions, calling and hanging up or calling when you would obviously be unavailable.

10. If the third party says that they cheated with your partner. Yes, we would all like to believe that there is some evil person out there just trying to come between you and your boo-boo. But really, c’mon! Unless you are sleeping with the governor, maybe an actress, the benefits of a good job and a nice Nissan Altima is not reason enough to break up anyone’s relationship.

11. My personal favorite… their inability to spend time. The “I am really busy” and distance excuse. Your partner, knew where you lived before you two became exclusive. Furthermore, one makes out time for what one really wants to do. So if you aren’t seeing them at all it’s because well…they would rather be doing something else.

Hopefully, Karma accepts my attempts to make amends and crosses my name off her weekly hit list. Karma is a spiteful bitch! But I am still saving her a seat next to me on my park bench.
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  1. watching mentally ill adults feeding ducks and squirrels mating? sure sounds like fun if you ask me. Hell, why didn't you invite me?

  2. Sincere:

    You're writing is exceptional.

    The cheating context - on point.

    Karma can be a friend and lead you to right spot.

  3. Anonymous1:59 PM

    This post was a bit long SinC. But since I can't stop reading your stuff and I am bored at work it read the whole thing. You forgot to mention for the guys that you can tell your girl is cheating if IT feels different. The dudes know what I mean.

  4. Brokkenhearted6:26 PM

    Guys can't tell if IT feels different unless you've been all loosey goosey on them! then the girl deserves to get caught..she's just nasty! Anyway. Karma is indeed a bitch. I cheated and now I may have to repeat Calculus II. I cheated and now I'm allergic to his happy juice. yes. rashes everywhere. I cheated and now I feel a pain in my gut when I look at another guy. Karma got me, but I'll never cheat again. That's for sure :)

  5. I really enjoy your writing style...too cool.

    I can't think of a time when the Karma bitch jacked me up, but I sure can come up with some mofos who need to be hit my a Karma train, repeatedly!

  6. Anonymous10:29 AM

    where r u mademoiselle?some people will like to see u in the computer lab soon.....all those signs to know if someone is cheating....deep!!!bottomline if ur relationship has lost its flavor instead of trying to spice it up without the cooperation of the other might be a good time to walk..cos it ain't getting better and will be even worse if u walk into a marriage with that kind of relationship...Kiss Blissful union good bye then

  7. LSH Love10:44 AM

    Squirrels are juist tryin to get 'a nut' before winter. Relationships require a lttle more effort than attracting mates with a cheek full. You've inspired me to read (as if that's not an achievement in iteslf) "He's Not that Into You". So far, It's work the newly jacked up price.Thank you.~And yes, Karma is a Spiteful bitch

  8. Luckily, I can say that karma has been on my side lately.

    Having said that, I just know something horrible is going to happen to me in the near future.

    I asked for it.



  9. Mia Glenn12:33 AM

    thanx for keeping in touch after all these years, Love you,Michelle

  10. Sin-
    Hey girl- I got an idea- Let's jump her!!!

    Nah...on second thought, she might come back with some friends.

    Yeah, better to keep the enemy close.


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