Sunday, March 13, 2005

When Anger is Good

Amongst the many anger management classes, handbooks, and court mandated therapeutic sessions, rarely do we see anything mentioned about the benefits of anger. Dr. Laura (yes, I read a book by Dr. Laura) mentions that suppressed anger (well, in women) is associated with poor health and dying early. So much energy is spent trying to suppress our anger and hide our frustration. But sometimes anger is good!!! Anger makes things happen; takes somewhat frustrating, confusing situations and kicks it up a notch. Have you found yourself bland and without motivation due to low self-esteem, sadness, self-doubt, love, depression, or fear? Sprinkle a little anger on it! Anger is fat free, burns calories and if chased with beneficial action can taste really, really good. Like everything else too much anger is bad for you, but so is anger deficiency. Are you getting enough Vitamin A? (A is for anger…)

I understand that some of us don’t know when to get angry and more so, when our anger is appropriate and justified. And since this is a self-help blog…

It is alright to be angry if…

• You did a significant amount of work on a project and the team slacker took all the credit and the salary bonus
• Your roommate never has enough money for rent but consistently appears with new clothes
• Your boss consistently makes insulting remarks
• There is a noticeable decrease in the supply of condoms that you share with your partner…and you DON”T know why
• You paid thousands of dollars for an education and you don’t think that you learned squat and the only thing you DO know is that you were treated like crap
• You have lost control of your own life to a suspicious spouse, consuming unrewarding career, or parents that won’t recognize that you’re an adult
• You discover it is not your child
• You devoted your heart and efforts to someone undeserving and unappreciative
• You find people are constantly trying to put you down
• You rent a car from say…Enterprise and it breaks down
• Your boyfriend is dating your friend behind your back
• You never get paid on time
• You pay 80 bucks a month for digital cable and once a week you can’t see crap
• You find your self-worth valued on the opinions of jerkish exes who make bad decisions and have even worse taste, idiot people who don’t know you from Adam and whether or not you have a date on Saturday night.
Okay, are you mad yet?

Get mad!!! However, take this anger and put it in the right direction. Don’t get mad at the child that isn’t yours; get mad at the deceitful person that hid that from you. Don’t get mad at the T.V., get mad at the cable company. Then get mad at yourself. Yep. The company is cheating you, his new girlfriend looks like a boar, you bought those darned shoes a day before they went on sale! And as a result you are crying, depressed, scared or unmotivated? Get mad at yourself and do something beneficial and within the boundaries of the law. Stand up for yourself, make new plans, ask for a price change on those shoes, break up with your girlfriend… she’s a leach! Get over that fear of being alone, admit that he was a certified waste of your time and that you're better of without him. Take control of your life back, better yet, snatch it back!
No, this will not make you a bitter person, just mad as hell. Take a bite of that and chew…tastes good huh? Okay, now let it go. Anger can be great for the heart but bad for the liver(sigh...) like alcohol.
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  1. Don't tell me anger is good right before this meeting...

  2. Big D7:43 AM

    You would relate anger to food, you are always so hungry. I did read "food harlot" which further supports my point.

  3. Anonymous7:50 AM

    Hey, I know I don't know you but I did read the "food Harlot" article too! Anger as food does seem fitting. But it's true anger can be good for you especially if you are usually passive like me. It's the only time people take me seriously.

  4. Fort Worth7:52 AM

    I sorta feel like you are talking to me with this anger bit...i should get angry.

  5. renee8:07 AM

    You and your darned self help books, I am starting to think it is no better than those romance novels you used to read. You are too funny your hit count is up to 183! whoo hoo!

  6. Hey Fort Worth! Yep, I am talking to you read that article again.

  7. Anonymous8:16 AM

    You need to be mad that you have an imaginary boyfriend, you make good points though in both articles. keep it up.

  8. Very true about anger being good. I had a rape trauma client with PTSD who had problems expressing anger; which lead to depression, self-hate and even a suicide attempt. She had been taught as a child, from family and religion, that all anger was "evil." Using a Cognitive Processing Therapy technique she learned how to positively use anger to become empowered.
    BTW- Glad to see you doing your thing ma'-Hollar!

  9. Anonymous3:02 PM

    I see you haven't forgotten your 5 paragraph essays

  10. Anonymous5:28 PM

    You are so silly why did I read all of your posts!! You are an expert on how to lose a mate in any specified amount of time. j/k Now I need to get back to work, cute site

  11. Brokkenhearted4:29 PM

    Yeah, I have a lot of practice being angry at myself. Angry because I can't make everyone around me happy.

  12. Brokken,
    You should be angry at yourself for trying to make EVERYONE around you happy. Do you really think you'll be able to do that? Do you live next to Puff the magic dragon? Who's trying to make you happy? Not everyone? hmmm... okay get mad and then put yourself first. That actually sounded helpful huh?

  13. I'M ANGRY. Especially at that damn Prince Charles -Camilla article you posted about recently. LOL.

    You are SO damn entertaining.


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