Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Valentine Phenomena


There is a twilight-zone before the establishment of a committed relationship that 94% of my relationships get caught in. This is called the "what are we?" The endless chill moments, the purgatory of getting to know each other better and better...And better. No pressure, pressure is bad. We are operating under this assumption.

I meet this nice guy. He calls me every day and our conversations are great. We have nice dates, nice restaurants, great movie experiences. He pays, so I think we are dating here. Our first kiss...Nice, very. I have even started to introduce him to my friends...As what? I don't know, this indicates the twilight factor. All I know is that it's February 2 and the next three days are crucial. February 3 or 4 he mysteriously disappears, only to reappear between the 17 and 20th.

This is the Valentine Phenom. It happens to me every year, except when I have an actual established committed relationship. Even then I am half-expecting him to break up with me days before Valentine's day. (hey, it has happened before...) This year I wasn't even surprised when he disappeared, I just looked at the calendar and said "oh, it is Februrary the 4th". I was more upset when he reappeared on the 20th. "I lost my phone." I'm so sure. Really, no excuses needed.

What I really want to know is where do they go? Do they feel at least the slightest pang of guilt amongst all that chocolate, red and roses? Do they have out of body experiences? Like...farewell to the flesh, because these guys seem unaware of these "happenings". Do these guys all commune in a Pizza-Hut on the cruddy side of town and discuss how they go to great lengths to avoid running into me? They can't be too cheap. Dinner at Emeril's costs more than a box of chocolates and I accept hand-written notes.

Is February 14th scarier than Friday 13th? I'll ask the Candyman.
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3 comments:

  1. Brokkenhearted7:52 PM

    My question is: why the hell does a single day expose when someone is really into you or not? This day should come once a month so that all the people who are just with you for the sex and status can rear their silly little heads and those who actually care will never have you ask the dreaded question of "what are we?". Let's get together with Oprah and set that shit up! :)

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  2. Hahaha! that did happen all the time in undergrad! Now I just delete him from my phone.

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  3. quietstorm6:45 PM

    I actually read it in its entirety (so not like me) pretty good. Yeah I like chicken gizzard, livers and knees too so i guess i'm in the same boat.

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