Saturday, February 26, 2005

The Oscars and the Grouch



"Are you throwing an Oscar's party or are you going to Ben's?" Um, I'm sorry...are we referring to the Oscar's or the Superbowl?

When it comes to the Oscar's I am certainly Oscar the Grouch. I'm the girliest of girls and I couldn't give two hoots about the red carpet or what Halle Berry and Nicole Kidman wore to yet another awards show. Well, alright I care but I don't need to actually WATCH the darn thing to find out. I buy "In Touch Weekly" and the line is always long at Super Wal-mart.

Seriously, the primary reason I am not too particular about the show is I don't watch "Oscar movies". Was "Legally Blonde" or "You've Got Mail" ever nominated for an award? No? How about movies with Chris Tucker or Jim Carrey? No? Then really what's the point? No one sees the movies nominated anyway. Of all the movies listed ( It's really 8-10 just nominated over and over) I may have only seen Collateral, Ray, and Shrek2. And Shrek better take home an Oscar!

So since this is a self-help blog...Here is a guide for those like myself who really couldn't care less for this year's Oscar's. After all, every one is talking about it and you don't want seem like a grouch.

• There is an official site www.oscar.com. Yep, and the producer of the show even has a blog.
• Chris Rock is the host. That's a reason to watch if there ever was one. He doesn't even like the Oscars and has made that clear in recent interviews.
• "Million Dollar Baby" is not about smuggling diamonds from Africa in the diapers of babies. Nor is it about some expensive kid. As long as you know that, who cares what it's about.
• You want Jamie Foxx to win best actor for his performance in "Ray". If he doesn't win there will be a riot transcending across all races and socio-economic status. Clarify what side you are on now.
• There are other categories such as music, costume design, sound mixing and editing, visual effects. These are negligible. If you have seen any of the movies nominated for these categories and they aren't nominated for anything else...they don't count as "Oscar movies". For example, "Troy" "Spider-Man2" and "Harry Potter"
• "Fahrenheit 9/11" and "The Passion" weren't nominated for best picture, documentary or much of anything else. Have an opinion about that.
• Don Cheadle has always been a talented actor and acts his butt off in every film...though you can't think of any right away (unless you are me) Here are a few: "Rosewood", "Ocean's Eleven", "Devil in a Blue Dress", "Swordfish" and "Boogie Nights".

Now you are set. You can go to work on Monday,add to the distracting dialogue and not seem grouchy. If you are advanced, go to the Oscar party. There's going to be dip...and we all like dip.
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9 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:02 PM

    A riot? I think that it would be just as satisfying to see Clint Eastwood win.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wendall10:28 PM

    That was funny, girl. There will be a riot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10:29 PM

    Just passing through...
    your blog is an actual site and not just mental ramblings I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous #1, I have taken note of your postion -Clint Eastwood...I advice you to board your windows.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10:03 AM

    Nice blog, I'm just passing thru as well. Jamie Fox better win best actor....

    Only things I disagree with are two movies you wanted for best picture happen to be the only two movies I've ever walked out on in my life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Brokkenhearted9:35 PM

    The Oscars will be grand the day I walk the red carpet. Until that day, we shall all live in a garbage can.

    ReplyDelete
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