Thursday, February 24, 2005

Food Harlot



It is Lenten season and I don’t particularly observe lent. I live in a predominantly Catholic city so I am usually the only one in McDonald’s on a Friday night ordering a double yes, double quarter-pounder with cheese combo. Part of me shows up on Fridays with the hopes that one day they are just going to give me a discount…or a free beef sandwich that they were otherwise going to throw away. So far I have been unsuccessful.

Outside of lent I still am surrounded by picky eaters.

Let’s see we have:
A friend who doesn’t eat chicken.
A friend who doesn’t eat chicken wings.
Someone who doesn’t eat meat on bones. (It reminds them it was once alive)
Countless people who only eat kosher.
Countless people who don’t eat scavengers or bottom-feeders.
Countless people who don’t eat beef or pork.
Countless people who don’t eat meat at all
A number of friends who don’t drink alcoholic beverages.
My cousin who won’t drink regular milk.
A girl who won’t eat onions, at all.
A grown man in his mid-twenties who still won’t eat his vegetables.
My ex-boyfriend is allergic to shell-fish.
My sister hates peanut butter and I have two friends that are breast-feeding so they must watch what they eat.

I on the other hand am not selective in the slightest. I eat everything and I love to eat. When it comes to food I have no discretion. No pickles, no onions? Puh-leeze. As long as its free, I want it on my burger. I will never be that disappointing person you spent $12.95 on at the all-you-can-eat buffet. I take advantage of the variety.

Does your food discrimination or lack thereof, say something about your personality or character?

I just had dinner with a friend. He had pesto chicken pasta. I...crawfish-stuffed pork chops. Crawfish-stuffed PORK CHOPS!!! What kind of person of sound body and mind...? Tomorrow its chicken-fried bacon and moonshine martinis!

One guy I used to date told me that what he found unattractive about me was that I "had no real convictions", that I didn't have strong beliefs and that I "lacked all validity". Yeah, I think his diet consisted of sticks that frequently got caught towards the end of his digestive system and cow manure because he was certainly full of it.

But let's say there is a truth to his statement that is microscopic in size. There are a lot of things that I don't take seriously. I really don't like coleslaw but if I didn't have any money for lunch and it was the only thing in the community fridge at work...I'll eat it. I did so not too long ago. Jill Nelson alluded her strength of conviction during the civil-rights movement to that of her brother when he was three. He hated vegetables and once when his father suddenly tried to force him to eat his peas he gasped, milk flying out of his nose, choking. He would rather risk his life than eat his peas. I on the other hand, love peas. Squash too and chicken gizzards, liver, cow knees...yeah, I don't have real convictions. I have no discretion and am excited to eat! It doesn't take much for me. I open my mouth to anything that's edible. And, yes I eat left-overs, sloppy seconds and thirds.(hahaha, that was funny!) I pose the question again, what does your food(or drink)discrimination or lack thereof say about you?
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8 comments:

  1. that is the funniest thing i ever read! yeah, you are hungry all the time. Hmmm...i eat pigs feet. what does that say about me? i am daring, very daring.

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  2. Anonymous1:49 PM

    cow's knee's?

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  3. Anonymous1:51 PM

    What are bottom-feeders?

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  4. Bottom-feeders are shrimp, cat-fish...everything you want to eat. If it were on land, pork.

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  5. tryin' 2 makit1:57 PM

    I never thought of it that way. Food and inhibitions. I don't eat pork but i think i am pretty easy going. but what the hell kind of person don't eat chicken?

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  6. Jason43:22 PM

    For the love of God...

    So I am browsing blogs and this girl has a bible study site. I am a very spiritual person (not as religious, there is a difference) so I took interest. Her post reads:

    "Just the other day I read in the Bible that in the end days people will abstain from meat, even though God says its good for us. Many people have become vegetarians thinking that eating meat is evil. If you are a Christian that God has chosen to leave behind then don't worry because he will lead you and you will help people, but you will have to die rather then taking the devils mark...you have two choices..."

    Oh my gosh, I guess I am a food heathen

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  7. Brokkenhearted9:20 PM

    Yeah, I hate peanut butter. I also don't drink pure water. I suppose that means I'm sweet inside and out :) Also that I may be diabetic in the near future...

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  8. Anonymous3:05 PM

    Only things I don't eat are things to drink!

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Whatcha think?